another one of those days

& i hated today.
whenever i think about bad stuff, the negative aura can be felt by others.
which makes the situation worse.
and then there were the awkward moments.

not that i'm comparing here but gelanggang admiralty would be uber weird once aizat become the full-time teacher. niari baru first lesson dier ajar, aku dah takleh angs. rabaks giler. i was SO BLOODY BORED I FELT LIKE JOINING THE GUYS TRAIN FOR TMR! like wt... abih yang lagi teruknye news: ABU NO LONGER TEACHING GELANGGANG. period. takde angin, takde ribut.

here's for you abu:

you were the source of my inspiration
build up these new passion i have for a new kind of art
gave me the want and need for knowledge
piled up encouragements when i fail

and now you're leaving
good job
wonderful
really.
i wish you well in whatever you do, where ever you may be, when ever it is.

aku sebenarnye sekarang ni geram. sedih. marah. kecewe. hampe. semue perasaan yang negative. macam nak meletup ah sekarang. dah takleh take it sak. kepale otak aku sekarang ni berserabut giler. abih confirm tak leh tido nye nanti. besok sebelum subuh dah nak kene siap go batam. nak mampos sak...
u make me wanna hurt you, strangle you, cry over you, slap you silly, hug you tight then hold you close.

i need to let it out. k going ngaji. then solat tahajud. then hopefully tears will fall. cos rite now, i dunno what to think, or feel, or know anymore.

sorry. bad post. i'll post when i'm happy next time. hopefully i won't die in batam yeah? :P