torn

i've been gone for 11 days. so much had happened. too much. i thought i could handle it. apparently, life just have to move on. i''ll not curse my life or even the people who had spoil it. i'll stay strong, like what huda said. thank you. that goes to everyone. it just depends on whether i mean it or i meant it sarcastically. you know which you deserve. like i said before. karma will do her job. i don't have to do anything about it.

and to my supervisors and managers, i thank you. i hope you'll do better without me. and to all my collegues, thank you for showing me how working life is like. the truth hurts. now i know. and i don't need you to tell me, i've already experienced it for myself. just didn't know people can do so much damage to another just using their mouths and nothing else. i work as a promoter, for those who don't know. so your mouths must be clean. as least that's what i believe in. i'm glad i'm fired. thank you tony. thanks, for showing me i can't believe everything that comes out of a promoters' mouth. thanks, for showing me that people can be very mean jerks. thanks, for opening my eyes to so much evil. everyday, i learn something new from you. directly, or indirectly. i'll do what everyone who loves me tell me to do. i won't dwell on you or the job or the people there anymore. you're not worth it. you never have been. not even the double pay on new year's day (which was $11/hr) was worth it. its not worth being tortured. mentally, physically, emotionally. its not worth all the racist and sarcastic comments and body language made by all of you there. i don't mind being mocked. but never mock Allah or Islam. and this goes out especially to the twin sisters. you better get your facts right before you question the beliefs and religion of a true blue muslim. and to all the others, whom i thought were my friends, i don't need you to spit on me when i'm already down. miss karma and Allah will get back at you. i don't need to say any more. now on to happy things.

i'm glad. I'M GOING JAKARTA TOMORROW!! and the WHOLE FAMILY'S GOING TOGETHER!! except for huda. i'm so damn sad ah. i BOUGHT A NEW CAMERA TODAY!!! i went OUT WITH KAK NORLS TODAY!! i've learnt a lot today. so much. more than what i've learnt in my secondary 4 o'levels year. maybe that's exaggerating. but i feel like it is so. so, i don't care. i hurt too much right now to joke. maybe after i come back from jakarta, i will laugh and forget. not forgive. but at least it'll be better.

thanks huda. for everything. especially the dog tag and the shoutout. it really help me feel better. don't know what i'll do without you. and kak norls, see you tomorrow. then we'll talk again. i'm so glad you're coming along on this trip. then at least i won't be so lonely.

working had been an enriching experience. i hope i'll die before i get another job. that way, the world would be such a happier place. for everyone. especially me.