waiting

you know the phrase, "let's just wait and see?"
yeah well, that phrase is getting on my nerves now. so many things can happen. oh so sudden. and then it'll stretch and stretch from it being one small dot to it being an infinite line. k design principles but wth it applies to life k. sometimes, i wish there are more than 24 hours a day. sometimes i wish time will suddenly reproduce and give me lil bit of leeway to life but no... it had to be this way. so wat does siti do? we make the best out of things. combine and do everything in one shot. kill 5 birds with 1 stone, be in 3 places at 1 time and put 10 fishballs on 1 stick. sometimes, i just wished i didn't have to bear so much responsibility, didn't have to know too many things, didn't have to lose so much things cos i was busy enjoying something else and most importantly, i wished i didn't have to love so much it hurts when people betray that trust or overuse the kindness i offer everytime. sometimes, i just wish i can be that fat and cute little girl in a pink halter-top dress, with flowers in her hair and running freely, without any care in the world, without the restrains of life like how you can't fly and how you can't defend yourself. but then humans have invented ways to make those dreams impossible.

and i still believe i can survive this sem without failing anything and improving my weak GPA.

and i still believe in angels.

and i still believe A will be there, to catch that little girl should she fall because of a small stone or because she banged into a large rock. no matter the problem, the little girl will not cry coz she knows she can always stand up again. and try again.

i will strive to be that girl in these few coming weeks. to find that trust lost, to beg for forgiveness for the unspoken words and to regain back the strenght lost. and then maybe in the process, i'll be motivated enough to finish up the piles of tuts im left to do. and also the catching up of 5 examinable subjects and end my ideation projects and CCAs with a big bang.

on an optimistic note, there's the bitter sweetness at the back of my head right now. everything's coming to an end which is awesome for my studies but i'll miss all those saturdays when we laugh our hearts out, run for our life out of the platform and perform with the greatest people i've ever got the opportunity to know;) loves...