milk and cookies

for those who knows me for who i truly am...
you would know what the title of the post means...

yes, i'm offering a peace offering.
i know the time i've not been around has sparked off so many painful critisisms about me.


to my classmates...
i am sorry you felt what you felt.
i didn't say you guys were noob shit.
if you had read the post correctly, i said,"this is just noob shit"
so please, stop seeing what you want to see. i didn't mean it that way.

and, as far as i am concerned, i've never been included in any activites you guys participated in.
for example purposes; "D3m0n: u r the one who left early n y didnt u wait for us tat u cn b in the photo too? dun anyhow comment on class photos girl..."
it is not cos i didn't want to. its cos you guys never told me about it.
so who's in the wrong now?
is it me? who don't understand 98% of the stuff you guys talk about?


and please, this is my blog.
i know you guys feel that its wrong to "comment on class photos"
but like what you said and i admit its true.
it is just a comment. why so angry joker?
i don't know if your purpose is to bring down my esteem and pride, whatever...
however, whatever you guys are doing is wrong.
and this is verbal insult. it would come under the law penalty. i am protected.
you guys don't know it yet, but this may be one of the rarerest post i wrote against someone.


i rarely bitch around in post.
if you had read it since i entered 1A07, i had never said a single bad thing about the class.
even when you guys confronted me for saying,"shut up!" in class.
except for that single line when i said the class photo was depressing.
even then, i had never said anything bad about you guys.

i just wrote down what i felt.


if you guys have been tagging on my blog with nasty comments about me so freely,
why cant i write down what i want in my own blog?
seems fair isn't it

i can't apologise for something i don't think is wrong.
not because of pride.
its because my guilty conscience won't allow it.


but for you guys i'd be willing to do anything.
if only you would see it.
on that first day with you guys, and the consequent weeks after,
it was great.
i've posted about it before.
then, we just got caught up with the works of poly...cliques.
jocelyn told me its only natural.
so fine, i stepped back to give you guys more space.
but what have you interpret that as, me having a "sulky attitude"

and like heck.
your war is with me. don't fight with any of my family and friends.
if you want to make someone the victim, why not just make it me?
i don't mind all of your hurtful words.
i can take it.
but please don't inflict it on them.

they know me better than you guys do at any rate.
like seriously, you guys don't even know my second name is khairunnisa.
not knowing how to pronounce it or even spell it.
yes you can find out, but whoever has time enough to even ask?
you guys don't know i can be nice.
you guys don't know who i am.
cos you guys never talk to me.
so i don't blame you for thinking as you did.

lets just take it as a way to better ourselves.
not everyone is perfect.
and who am i in the eyes of perfection?

so if you would...
tomorrow is national day eve.
i would like to celebrate with you guys with no hard feelings.
i've been bad at posting stuff i knew might hurt you.
i didn't even know you guys had my blog link.
so for that, i apologise.
i'm sorry.
from the bottom of my heart.
please accept it?

if you do,
please wear red on friday.
celebrate our happiness together like last time^.^
it's most probably the last time we'd get to do this kindda stuff.
besides, i know red is the guys favourite colour.
you wear it every week.
correct me if i'm wrong alrite:)

anyways, see you guys when i see you.
by then, i hope we can look at each others eyes and smile:)