life's hellhole

ok so updates on life a lil. i didn't work at courts mega for this weekend! woohoo! i know. but instead, i got transfered to... robinsons, centrepoint. wth. i hate it when i get transfered to places in the town area. huda thinks its cool and all to be working there. i don't. not now anyway. all the long hours wasted on a train ride. and i have to spend over 1hour++ on just the train trip itself. haven't include the getting ready time and all that. really now. urgh! and think about it. i don't even get enough sleep lah. reach homearound 11+, and last saturday, because of late night shopping, 12+. eat, bathe, talk, relax...2 am already. sleep, wake up at 6 for prayers, then go back sleep for what? 2 hours more? then go to work. that's like less then 6 hours of sleep lah!! i work more than i sleep people!! wth! and everyone knows how much i love sleeping. and my tired legs really require that rest. after more than 14 hours standing up at work and on the train, i don't think i can take it anymore. but guess what? my prayers had been answered. i'm going to work at john little expo sale today! woohoo! just when i wanted to give up on jean perry, it lifts my hope high enough i think i can fly! lollies. talking about sweets, i'm really starting to like the pikin plum pearls sweets. if you slow people don't know what the hell that is, please...go look around next time you're in a provision shop. it's like the hottest thing around ever since i bought it lah... its small, handy and nice. what else do you need from a sweet? that rhymes. wth siti! crap again.

i've been crapping to avoid talking about the most important thing in my life right now. JAE. to huda only, JAE is the joint admission excercise. it's to choose the next hellhole in your life after secondary education. for me, i've made up my mind for poly all my life. not even a little space for jc. i don't know why. i just hate the sound of jc and siti in the same sentence. it's weird but then again, i'm normal. so as i've said before, i don't repeat myself. lol siti. not many will get that joke. i saw it printed on some customer's tee and i thought at first sight, COCKY!! goodness. hahhahhahah. anyway, back to topic. i've chosen communication and media management at tp as my first choice. i won't regret it. i searched my soul and thanks to my family and the talk with kak norls on the train, i realised what i want comes first. my passion is in it. i'll be the best there ever was. if i got in. with the points i have, it'll be hard. but i hope i can make it in. 12 points for bz courses. 9 points for design and all the other whatnots. anyway, i've put in a wide range of choices. from accounting (my family's choice) to design to psychology to tourism management. even squeezed in early childhood education. i know. confused life. hey, that's me. it's normal. don't despise me. besides, everyone's just as bad. too bad.

anyways, 2 wierd things happened in robinsons. every supervisor said i can't work there including the back-stabber auntie there. i hate her lah. she thinks i'm dumb and makes everyone there hate me. including the nice malay kakak there. wth. god will condemn your life. everyone, except the floor manager. the floor manager gave me a thumbs up and when asked whether my dressing is acceptable he said, "why not? just because of the headwear, you want to discriminate her? it's neat and acceptable. if anyone has a problem with that, ask them to come meet me." i was like thanking him a lot, a lot and praying for his soul to be filled with happiness. i almost, almost said to the freaking auntie,"in your face!". it would have been rude. and god know's that would totally make me lose my winning chip. so that was my first backer. next, come a customer. who defended me like i'm her daughter. the wierd thing is, i didn't even help her much. i only offered to help her measure some of the bedlinens she was going to buy. common courtesy. that bloody bitch of auntie screamed and asked me what i was trying to do. i answered calmly, "helping this nice lady." she freaked out man! she said i didn't know what i was doing, that i was new and all and told me off! I WAS TRYING TO HELP MAN!! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! so the customer went into my defence and told HER off. i was like, wow! seriously, thank you sister! god bless! she was like, "she was trying to help me and i really appreciate her help. i don't understand what you're thinking. why do you stop her from helping me?! what's your problem? so what if she's new? she have more courtesy to help me than you who's more experience. if i don't buy this, IT'S ALL YOUR BLOODY FAULT! ha! the cheek to scream at me like that! do you know who i am?!" i was like stunned. being in the middle of it all. wooo.... anyways, end of debacle, i saw another customer in front and went to attend to her. when i turned back, my arch angle was gone. too bad i guess. i thought of giving her a french kiss! hahahahahhaah!! thanks a lot. since then the bitch don't dare tell me off anymore. she kind of get the karma atmosphere around my body. lollies. but she still bitches and complains about me. too bad good luck sides with me. you're too mean. even to customers you sound evil. if i was one, i'll ask for your termination asap! like huda said, RIP MAN!!

so that was it. thanks for listening. actually, thanks for reading. crap ica. go to sleep la. work at 12 you know and you don't even know where to go later. >.<

results, work, sleep siti!

so as you all know, i'm going to rant again. about work mostly. and this blog is dedicated to huda who misses my rants! hahahhahahh. anyway, this like one of the most rare opportunity i get in this new year to blog. too busy with work. i work full shifts you know. 10-10. if you think that's not tiring enough, imagine having to do it everyday for 9 days straight without any off! anyways, i've been from taka-tt's my old place, to bhg bugis, to isetan tm, to courts mega, and lastly to john little expo sale. i don't know what's in the bag for me but its sure been fun working with jean perry. sure, it's tiring and i've had my downs. but none of it was caused directly from jean perry. all of the staff at jean perry are so friendly and helpful. trust me. i lost my punchcard last 3 days and they cried with me and turned tm upside down to help me search for it. i've learned a lot about people. and their review about me? hahahhahahah. it's funny. they think i'm cute>.< awww, sheesh! so i practically strive everyday to do my best at doing sales and making the environment around me cheerful. i like it when people laugh. at least the time past faster. and having this promoter job, you'll pray for time to pass like a bulletseed! coz when there is no customer or no new stocks coming in, it can get really boring! like the time when i was posted to courts. damn boring you know! my job, just sit there at the table trying to sell custom-made curtains when all this time i've been selling bedsheets, pillows and cushions! and since i can't make head or tails of the promoter job at courts, i just sit there, saying i don't know to every question people ask me and take down numbers and names of customers who wants to make curtains! tough right? WRONG! too easy. malay call it,"makan gaji bute". and guess what? i'm being posted there again this weekend! wth! i HATE IT! why people say i'm dumb i have no idea! i just can't take it. sorry. i'm not one who can stay still for long on a chair. my butt will become bigger ok? besides, i can't write poetry there! although i have like all the time in the world, the chinese new year song playing over and over again at the second storey of courts is so irritating, i bit my nails just to stay sane! so fine.

in 13 more hours, o'level results are coming out. it's finally here. and i can't stop the butterflies from fluttering in my stomach as if it's the forbidden garden of adam and eve! ok so crap siti! stop it already. i'm meeting auntie hooi eng to ask for her signature on my new punchcard at bhg bugis tomorrow. a few hours before o's release. then meeting fraulein and gang for lunch before going to school for doomsday and also to return my long overdued choir blazier. shheeesh, i know. but it had to be done. after that i'll return home to deliver the results then head out again to...MEET HUDA!!! i'm picking her up from school or so we had planned. take 222 from bedok interchange. remember siti, 4.15. i've been forgetting lots of things these past few days. and i don't know if i'm being dumb or what, but these days i don't really mind myself forgiving and forgetting all of the bad deeds people do to me. whether its right in front of me or behind me. i really don't. weird huh? but i believe strongly in Allah's power to return what is given and to take back what is given. it's a lil bit like how miss karma works. like mum said, we don't have to care. karma works by itself without having need of any reminders:) cool huh? if only my brain would do as it can. too bad it can't. but at least i know my concience is clear. no matter what people call me. i don't care. i think i've matured very fast over this very short period of time. probably because of the heavy exposure to the outside world my work dictates me to having or maybe because of the entire work experience itself, where i've learnt the world is an unfair place for muslim women and therefore it has made me strive even further to study hard so i don't have to suffer under the hands of those unfair people. unfair people out there, just remember one thing. what you give, you get back. it's the painful truth. and though, maybe, you don't feel it yet, but its happening in your body, your whole entire system changing with the willpower of your very own concience. death will meet you. in the most painful manner.

Allah said there are 3 kinds of do'a that is most makbul. 1. the do'a of a person who is being sabotaged. 2. the do'a of a parent for his/her child. 3. the do'a of a person who is away(from home)

so based on those. i've prayed, and asked others to pray for me also, so that i'll have a more blessed life and so that my o'level results would great. i'm not hoping for straight As here. just wants to pass everything so i won't disappoint my parents again. i've caused them to cry once too often. it's time i repay them back with happiness. no matter how little. at least i know i've brought a smile to their face. though only once, my life would be fulfilled and i'd die with no regrets. none what-so-ever.

torn

i've been gone for 11 days. so much had happened. too much. i thought i could handle it. apparently, life just have to move on. i''ll not curse my life or even the people who had spoil it. i'll stay strong, like what huda said. thank you. that goes to everyone. it just depends on whether i mean it or i meant it sarcastically. you know which you deserve. like i said before. karma will do her job. i don't have to do anything about it.

and to my supervisors and managers, i thank you. i hope you'll do better without me. and to all my collegues, thank you for showing me how working life is like. the truth hurts. now i know. and i don't need you to tell me, i've already experienced it for myself. just didn't know people can do so much damage to another just using their mouths and nothing else. i work as a promoter, for those who don't know. so your mouths must be clean. as least that's what i believe in. i'm glad i'm fired. thank you tony. thanks, for showing me i can't believe everything that comes out of a promoters' mouth. thanks, for showing me that people can be very mean jerks. thanks, for opening my eyes to so much evil. everyday, i learn something new from you. directly, or indirectly. i'll do what everyone who loves me tell me to do. i won't dwell on you or the job or the people there anymore. you're not worth it. you never have been. not even the double pay on new year's day (which was $11/hr) was worth it. its not worth being tortured. mentally, physically, emotionally. its not worth all the racist and sarcastic comments and body language made by all of you there. i don't mind being mocked. but never mock Allah or Islam. and this goes out especially to the twin sisters. you better get your facts right before you question the beliefs and religion of a true blue muslim. and to all the others, whom i thought were my friends, i don't need you to spit on me when i'm already down. miss karma and Allah will get back at you. i don't need to say any more. now on to happy things.

i'm glad. I'M GOING JAKARTA TOMORROW!! and the WHOLE FAMILY'S GOING TOGETHER!! except for huda. i'm so damn sad ah. i BOUGHT A NEW CAMERA TODAY!!! i went OUT WITH KAK NORLS TODAY!! i've learnt a lot today. so much. more than what i've learnt in my secondary 4 o'levels year. maybe that's exaggerating. but i feel like it is so. so, i don't care. i hurt too much right now to joke. maybe after i come back from jakarta, i will laugh and forget. not forgive. but at least it'll be better.

thanks huda. for everything. especially the dog tag and the shoutout. it really help me feel better. don't know what i'll do without you. and kak norls, see you tomorrow. then we'll talk again. i'm so glad you're coming along on this trip. then at least i won't be so lonely.

working had been an enriching experience. i hope i'll die before i get another job. that way, the world would be such a happier place. for everyone. especially me.

karma

so yesterday my parents and me went to s'pore expo.
felt like an only child. now i know how huda feels everyday.

at hall 5, the first place we stepped into when we reached, there was an IT sale. so many people were in that hall looking at IT goods and guess what, i saw some things being sold at stupid prices. i mean, the warehouse sale of Creative and Audio House gives better prices as compared to what they sold there. but some things, like the samsung MP3s and memory cards were sold at very good prices. plus, every single IT brands were there. so it was good if you're looking out for a brand which gives the best product at the best price.

at hall 4, was the GREAT JOHN LITTLE SALE, the place we're supposed to go to in the first place. my mum needed to buy a bag and dad needed to buy clothes. i tagged along just to see the place. i didn't have anything to buy and ended up as so. besides, i was broke remember? save for the whole bundle of bedsheets which my parents borong there, i didn't bring home anything else that was mine. it was cheap ok? the usual price is $59.90 and the price we bought it at was $16. so, not a bad bargain, considering we had to push around the crowd at the hourly sale booth just to get the designs for the bedsheets. and i got to pick the NICEST ONE!! so we also bought pillows and bedsheet and ends up i have to carry all those bulky stuff and i just walked through the entire crowd with the two huga plastic bags at my sides. then this whole group of young adults, blocked my way. politely but loudly i said "excuse me... coming thru". since they still remained stuck together, macam belangkas,i just pushed through them. and the girlfriend had the cheek to curse and swear at me for being rude. hello!! i said excuse me and everyone in that hall can hear me! except for you that is. fine ah. i don't care. curse me all you want. it's your freakish fault and lady karma will be on my side on this!

so today. as i've said. i stayed up all the way to 4 am to make the blogskin and also await the arrival of my brother. he was REPRIMANDED!! because he returned home at 4.30 am. he went to play late night soccer with his peeps after work and ended up coming home late. serves u right, sucker! as late as it was, and though i thought i was sleepy at first, i couldn't sleep all the way to morning. did my prayers then went to sleep. woke up at 12 pm at the insistence of mum. i knew i wasn't going to the TPRawks!! yellow group meet-up. i was disappointed but that's life isn't it. full of ups and down. so i decided on a new course of action for the day. had a religious class at 3, so planned to go with sofyya like i always did when i don't know where the house of the person was. so she said meet around 2+. reached tampines interchange at 2.15pm and waited all the way to 2.35 when i sms her asking where she was. she replied me much later saying she on her way there and reaching already. i was pangsei-ed. my dear lady karma help me. i was left to wait there for her when she's gonna reach the place already!! i was angry and upset at the same time. being the d****** that i was, i don't know where the place was and not wanting to have the problem of getting lost in the middle of nowhere, i decided to go window shopping instead. everywhere, the AIDS day was celebrated. i saw the high percentage of malays who got AIDS and this distresses me. we should be the most conservative among all the other races and this happens. not to mention the sins these people have on their back. however, they should consider themselves lucky. they are given a chance to repent for their sins before death and they have a deadline for their life. how i wish i would know when death is coming upon me.

anyway. while window shopping, i suddenly thought of grandmama and thought of paying her a visit. wanted to call my mum to inform her of the plans but the house number was engaged. wanted to call nana then decided to make it a surprise instead. so went there, stayed for a couple of hours then went home. as soon as i reached home, i received a call from nana saying that my aunties and cousins are coming to my house. cools. its been a long time since i've seen my cute nieces and nephews and they're coming here! yay!! it was fun playing with them but that wasn't the highlight of the day.

wanna know something? i became rich again. hahahahahah. ok fine. not all that rich but considering the fact that i was broke before, this is a lot ok. got allowance from mum. got birthday present from nana (super belated btw!) and was given raye money from the aunts and cousins (for raye haji? u've got to be kidding! but nm, i'll take any reason for extra cash) !!!!!
so that's the highlight. jealous? well, don't be. FYI, the money is not going to be used but its going to a good cause. i won't say for what cause if i do its not gonna be good anymore now would it? hahaahah

till later peeps. going to eat and read my books again. wanna go out with huda.....:'(