fireworks of LIFE=D

hey:)

im smiling now as im typing this so u noe wat that means right?

yeap. im back!~ lols!

like seriously. im focused again. whole again. after that time off. the 10 hours bus rides, the freaking cold wakeup call in a 10 degress celcius hotel room, the 10 fireworks at the strike of 12 for 2010.

if u noe, u noe. if u don't, well... don't ask. i skipped 2 official days of school. wed, missed CMA and thurs missed fashion fieldtrip & busking @ haji lane. and friday's samba prac. cos the bus slow!~

OUH! since im in the mood.

i shall update my to-do list for 2010. it was made on the 17th dec 2009. maal hijrah night while otw back from silat camp & handover bbq.

1. NOT to join anymore long-term commitments. i have 3 already right now; QHJ, Sambateria & 2 Silat grps (which i consider separate)
2. have more outings with my babies. susah sangat nak jumpe. asik busy jer~~
3. better GPA. at least 3.3. that wont even get me to uni. but i have to be REALISTIC.
4. better pesilat. that means better physique. lari takmo pancet, tendang mesti power, etc.
5. better daughter. i love my parents. truly. though they make it so hard to do so.
6. better sister. to all my sisters and brothers. both by blood and by heart.
7. saying "i love you" and "imy" more often. i need to spare time for important things like this.
8. better health. meaning, better diet, lesser doc visits; for both internal sickness and physical pain. my body needs the rest seh. i can't put so much on my body and expect it to not wear & tear. if i can care that much for my agogo & lappie, i can do much more for my perfect body.
9. better student. i have to stop giving my teachers false hope that i would do well. i need to prove to them my abilities as a student, class rep and one of the few regulars at ngaji.
10. better time management. and i believe this can be done by making the best choices instead of the cliché which goes by prioritizing. its not all that true u noe. u have to be in the moment to understand what i mean ah seriously.

im not gonna recap my life. i may recap my mistakes in future posts cos i believe only by remembering your mistakes can you know what went wrong and how to prevent it. i believe in this very life of mine, ive done everything i wanted and could. no regrets. and there's very few stuff i want more. notice in the 10 items above, mostly its just being better and doing something more often. not about doing something new. the other new stuff that i havent done before, like clubbing or having one night stand, i REALLY dont wanna do. not cos i cant.

during the getaway with my family, i realised something HUGE. my mum. my older bro. really hate the life im leading. not for my sake. its cos they couldnt have lead it. cos both of them want something in their future life and soon they forget to live in the moment. i dont think they're jealous (which is a huge possibility) but cos they are too busy working for something they couldnt be sure of yet. sure saving up and working hard is important but you cannot forget u live now. not later. you can die tmr and then wat happens? all the stuff you've worked for? wouldnt it be better if youre happy doing wat you do now, while working towards a future, a future u determine. a future you structure with your own efforts & then remembering the joys along the way? sure im a peanut or even worse, a bud of a greenhorn but i guess its one lesson in happiness that i need to spread around.

as i said before, "usually the best memories are only for that moment. it can't be relived or replayed. only treasured and remembered. its what makes it the best. if not, its just your life; things you do to exist. not live." - 31 dec 2009

as the TV1 newscaster always say, "pikir2kan lah~"