2 week no shut off day

tday is officially the end of my hols. padahal2. but that's for me to know. & for NO ONE ELSE to kpo=)

status update jap: im still in a crush. dun blame me if im in a hyper giggling mode.

& im currently emoing. so here's stealing ur penny for my thoughts:

last time i used to be cute. really cute.
really ugly but adorable.

now. im just ugly.
ugly AND fat. i think the minah rep took away my cuteness.

but then again, i would rather live with the minah rep than the useless cuteness.
like when im down, and alone in the slumps, no measure of cuteness will help. trust me, the kitten did not become a cat by being cute. oh so now i speak kittens. besides fishes huh? and zat, idk how i know, but fishes really rilek one corner in the middle of the afternoon. like come on, its already so damn hot, why go out rite?

another weird thought also came up as i was like surfing the net, (which btw means kpoing thru ppls fb and blogs) when i was actually supposed to be searching for other investments (besides bonds, fds and shares; which im sure u dowan to know, but hell, its my core subject project; so yah~)

why am i so jealous of other people's life. like my life isn't good enough. like im any lesser than them. sure, im no idol like sylvia, who btw is gonna win tday, and im no ustazah or a partying slut, which btw is the opposite ends of some life i don wanna lead, but yeah. i dunno if im making sense to u reading this but after staring at my 21 years old ceiling for 2 hours, too bored to do anything, but too tired to sleep, my brain has stopped working, and all that's left is my guts. yeah, its the one typing now. ass.

you might think im some loser bitch, or even some pathetic soul typing out her rants. but wait till its ur turn. do u tink i LIKE being in this position? IT SUX! & im supposed to be the strong minah rep, pesilat, cheerleader, samba agogo livewire here. but no. tday, i HAD to be the devil's incarnate all over again. the last time i was like this i was in sec sch. emoing shit days. when i lose my sense of direction even more than i lose my sight. which btw, is very often, cos i had to change specs EVERY YEAR. stop it sak. patutlah degrees tak leh angs.

ill stop it here. right now. dah perangai tak mo macam belum sunat ah. merepek sak. im gonna go type out my report now. before people start chasing after it again. deadline in 1 official day.

OUH I WANTED TO UPDATE! ::
my life been super busy. imagine, i have to plan make up lessons! cos im gonna busy on the other days. and im gonna skip FASHION dis week. rabak seh. but i have no other choice. for my family's sake. and for myself too. i need this break more than i care to know. just for me. not for my passion. not for some stupid shit ive dunk myself into cos i thought itll be a good experience for me. not for some idiotic club i joined cos i thought it wont have politics and itll be fun. not for some rewards in the end. not for some handsome strangers. not for some problemetic teenagers. not for anyone else, besides, nisa, god, siti and khairun, the one i need to find the most right now. please come back. ur making me worried sick please!~

& at the end of all of this, im no longer the short & ugly & fat minah. thanks eh.