2 week no shut off day

tday is officially the end of my hols. padahal2. but that's for me to know. & for NO ONE ELSE to kpo=)

status update jap: im still in a crush. dun blame me if im in a hyper giggling mode.

& im currently emoing. so here's stealing ur penny for my thoughts:

last time i used to be cute. really cute.
really ugly but adorable.

now. im just ugly.
ugly AND fat. i think the minah rep took away my cuteness.

but then again, i would rather live with the minah rep than the useless cuteness.
like when im down, and alone in the slumps, no measure of cuteness will help. trust me, the kitten did not become a cat by being cute. oh so now i speak kittens. besides fishes huh? and zat, idk how i know, but fishes really rilek one corner in the middle of the afternoon. like come on, its already so damn hot, why go out rite?

another weird thought also came up as i was like surfing the net, (which btw means kpoing thru ppls fb and blogs) when i was actually supposed to be searching for other investments (besides bonds, fds and shares; which im sure u dowan to know, but hell, its my core subject project; so yah~)

why am i so jealous of other people's life. like my life isn't good enough. like im any lesser than them. sure, im no idol like sylvia, who btw is gonna win tday, and im no ustazah or a partying slut, which btw is the opposite ends of some life i don wanna lead, but yeah. i dunno if im making sense to u reading this but after staring at my 21 years old ceiling for 2 hours, too bored to do anything, but too tired to sleep, my brain has stopped working, and all that's left is my guts. yeah, its the one typing now. ass.

you might think im some loser bitch, or even some pathetic soul typing out her rants. but wait till its ur turn. do u tink i LIKE being in this position? IT SUX! & im supposed to be the strong minah rep, pesilat, cheerleader, samba agogo livewire here. but no. tday, i HAD to be the devil's incarnate all over again. the last time i was like this i was in sec sch. emoing shit days. when i lose my sense of direction even more than i lose my sight. which btw, is very often, cos i had to change specs EVERY YEAR. stop it sak. patutlah degrees tak leh angs.

ill stop it here. right now. dah perangai tak mo macam belum sunat ah. merepek sak. im gonna go type out my report now. before people start chasing after it again. deadline in 1 official day.

OUH I WANTED TO UPDATE! ::
my life been super busy. imagine, i have to plan make up lessons! cos im gonna busy on the other days. and im gonna skip FASHION dis week. rabak seh. but i have no other choice. for my family's sake. and for myself too. i need this break more than i care to know. just for me. not for my passion. not for some stupid shit ive dunk myself into cos i thought itll be a good experience for me. not for some idiotic club i joined cos i thought it wont have politics and itll be fun. not for some rewards in the end. not for some handsome strangers. not for some problemetic teenagers. not for anyone else, besides, nisa, god, siti and khairun, the one i need to find the most right now. please come back. ur making me worried sick please!~

& at the end of all of this, im no longer the short & ugly & fat minah. thanks eh.

random thought

somehow blisters from playing surdos hurt alot. like really. ALOT.

now i know how haiqal feels ALL the TIME!!~ dang~!

loads to update

u noe wat? heh~ DAH LAME PER tak UPDATE! lols!!~~

so from the last i left off till now...

nothing's much has changed. just tt... im the big 18 now. nah not big deal right?

except. once you've turned tt age, u have so MUCH going on, you dun really have time to type out your life's going-ons anymore. the free time is spent on stuffs that make u un-free and then when u FINALLY have time for yourself, the most u can do is type out random thoughts in fb. kwang3~

so if u really wanna noe my life a lil bit more, just call me up kay. we can go out. btw, for me, going out doesn't equal to spending moolah. i realised, when i go out have fun, 90% of the stuff i spend on if food! which is btw, ESSENTIAL. so it doesn't count as spending. its more towards for survival. i sound primitive. lols~ moving on...

i had like more than 10 stuffs listed to tell u guys about but i lost track of my thoughts just because i looked over the shoe rack and saw my 2 NEW PAIRS of SHOES! GASP!~ yes ain. i spent on shoes just like you over this weekend. rabak, but like we noe what's the reason for all these impulse buys; IT'S a NEED! ^^! the trail "school shoe" white flats is to replace my old one. yes..the old one, the one i decorated with so much love, so much of my ideas poured into it, so much effort put into making my creative juices into a magnificent pair of shoe...IS STOLEN! this is why i support HIP friends. haizzz... and the other black pair...well, its a sports shoe! come on~ i dun have one u noe! zzzz!~

ouh i finally remembered what i was supposed to update u with:

1. hari raya - both aidilfitri & aidiladha
2. my bdae celeb - which was celebrated throughout the ENTIRE WEEK. just because my bdae fell on the sunday. welllllls~ ^^
3. my body scars (including a swollen lip & swollen arms&legs)
4. the gigs & perfs tt ive had and been to. 2 words. AWESOME PAWSOME!~
5. bad, bad mid sems. & projs.
6. food. idk why, but these few months, the food that has passed through this lips wont lie. they're just finger-licking-licious!
7. the married people. including big bro imran! congrats!!
8. the new activities i found out i really enjoy doing. like bowling & snooker & lepak arnd like bangla & eating & silat-ing & doing art & reading. reading!~ lols! my current book is "what the dog saw". its like an adult enid blyton seh. so many adventures packed into a lil thing like that~ awesome...
9. i have a new phone. but tt's a long story. all i noe, 2 weeks into the new phone, i back to using my bro's old one. and its coming to 4 weeks worth of waiting for repairs to be done. samsung suck sia. esp with new gadgets like my corby. kesian baby aku. entah ape jek dier tengah buat. atau tengah dibuat. does tt just made sense or what!~ what^! lols~
10. im addicted to HIMYM. im like done watching the 5th season and im watching it again. imagine, REPLAYS on my lappie! its not even on TV like SURIA (siaran ulangan rancangan itu2 aje)!!~ & i HATE suria now. we PAY u NOT for REPLAYS. thanks eh. & we have to pay extra for mio JUST to watch better shows which u're SUPPOSED to give us? no thanks!

k dah. any of the points above, tak paham/dun understand, can ask me. call me out for coffee or something. tts right, my water strike is OVER! cos my bro declared himself a loser since the start. kwang3~ too bad sucka~ heh. shhhhhh! the bitch's coming. gotta go!

wanna noe what i REALLY dun like???

the fact that i STILL dun have these at home. k fine i only want one. but EVEN THAT is not possible. cos i have no credit card. and the supply to singapore is SOOO LIMITED. efff~~

btw, i was only talking about berry kiss, soft raspberry, cherry blossom & romantic wish.

OUHH! && also endless love (which i tried like eons ago) but i dun think that's EVER gonna come to singapore. another huge URGH!~~~

i still can't believe everytime we go shop for these, ain always get the ones that fit her so perfectly. and mine... IS ALWAYS OUT OF STOCK@! she has two of those ald!!~~

realisation

sometimes in life, there's this point where you realise small little things bout yourself that throughout the whole almost 18 years of your life, you have never noticed before? well...

do you noe?

• I like putting my legs up on the chair when i sit. depending on the size of the chair, i either sit on my left leg or cross both my legs under me on the sofa.
  
• I shake my legs a lot. especially during lectures, where my lecture partner will consciously ask me to stop cos their chair is shaking too. LOL!~
• I always use my hp to check the time. even when im using a watch. stupid, i noe~
• i say anyways, so yah, you noe and *ahump(a breath of air) like a gazzillion times a day. the *ahump is very obvious everytime i tell a joke or trying to stop myself from laughing. heh~
• i care a lot about what my family thinks of me. i say i don't care about what others think rite...but inside, their opinions of me matters a lot. so much so, it hurts.
• i like black metal. not that kinda music genre but metal, black in shade. notice i use shade cos black, white, brown & beige are not colours=)

k dah. i realise i only have 3 wishes for my 18th bdae dis year and i can't get any of them. not at this rate anyway. wanna noe the 3 wishes? really? hehehehehs....

1. bike license. (mum said, in translation, "not over my dead body")
2. a pet, preferably a kitten. (dad said, "for what? your room's already breeding cockroaches, lizards and it looks like a pigsty, not enough?)
3. my 1st boyfriend. no more stalkers, jerks & heart breakers please? (but my brain says no to this. cos it understands chemistry and physics better & it says, you're no where close to ground. MAYDAY! MAYDAY!)

so yah~ here i go again.... lets find some other reasonable gifts which has no sentiment value cos my family is too blind to see that i'm hurting with every rejection they happily throw in my face.

fish n chic' - no pun or spelling errors intended

HEYY!

k i wanted to say it wif teddy's exact expression so yeah. btw, HAPPY BDAE BRO~ old ald. but still get lego from us=D BOOYAH~

k im in the pms mode i think. so im gonna blog bout random handsome strangers again.

all 2nd to smart, pompous jane of course but oh well, i like them anyway=)

P.S don't ask me bout raye dis year cos nothing great has happen YET. hahas. i love my orange kurung though. hahs. and the fact my face has gotten better is awesome, like cherry on top of the chocolate-dipped one... k im starting to sound like barney. SUIT UP! i've gotta feeling, tonight's gonna be legend, wait for it, -ary! =D

1st up, SAM! omggg! another season's coming up next week. screams SO LOUD!

k act, i was stumped between him and his bro, but then again, he's the funny one. so, he wins>.<

next awww~ kim hyun joong. wait~ dis guy is a SHOCKING FIND. k actually no ah, if u watch boys over flowers (a show which i totally hate cos he should totally get tt girl-i hate love triangles plot-like totally). come on, the lead dun look HALF AS GOOD. oh btw, the girl/model who left him, should be the lead instead. i noe they're trying to go for the "plain jane look" but come on, korean girls are naturally hot. what u've chosen is a freaking ogre man.

next guy, gabe bondoc. of all, he's the only real life one. the others all characters. he's character speaks, or rather sings, for itself. 4 thumbs up! i would raise more thumbs if i had more=DD

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! he's the biggest jerk on earth but i still love him. hate that i love u so!~ rihanna. wakakakakks. k anyways, u ask, wats up with dis guy, well, i love the fact he's happy single, a fact not many people cherish and in his case make use of to achieve the basics of life, happiness and fulfillment for yourself. like come on, NO ONE noes what he does for a living yet he's living the high life... LITERALLY! i won't say no fair, cos im gonna work towards being him. love ur job, cos ur employers hire u to think. not do=)

love ur life, cos its yours. u make it wat it is. he has a $%^&-ing VIDEO RESUME! who DOES THAT?? wakakakaks~

im gonna leave u wif a thought (sounds like those TV1 11pm news anchors).

this was from ain's and my msn convo. i dun have the actual convo, but it was along these lines.

we were talking bout going after the fishes in the big sea.

me: we should starting fishing, or else were gonna die. no more fish.

me: or we can move to a farm and eat chicken instead. lol~

5mins later...

me: talking bout fishes and chickens...hahs. we dun talk about the birds and the bees anymore cos everyone noes tt story.

this one...is an inevitable story every son-of-a-bitch needs to face. reality check. as u grow older, there's lesser fishes to bait. and the fishing rod's getting rustier. and then when it hits u, it gonna be too late.

nowadays, teachers should include the fish n chic' part to "growing up" education. cos honestly, this is a revolution.

told u tonight's legendary. pfft=P

i would die and live a thousand more lifes to get a guy like him to look at me like that! SIZZLING HOTTTT~~

=D

tday marks the 1st day of iftaring outside. with fusion. right after silat. weirdly, im not exhausted or even a lil sleepy. kay 2 reasons. 1. im an owl since the start of ramadhan anyway. 2. im happy right now=)

090909.

and friday is last day of sambateria's practice. i really dunno if i should go.

dad would be pissed. but i havent gone for ANY PRACTICES! god~ help me. make me dream something. make this path clearer for me please. guide me through. cos i need you now. more than ever.

k anyway, i submitted my silat logo and its UP! vote for it kay! hehes! altho i must say, the others look super awesome too so it'll be tough to get voted in ah.

k ah. gtg pray now. lailatuqadar coming soon. too soon. omgggg, im not ready!

P.S i didn't spar at training tday! huahuahua~ and im glad tt training's on mon, wed & fri. need to lose these pounds man! wakakakas! siti dah gemok seh. nanti raye baju tak muat~ *dies!

GASP! >.<

aslkm people. k bulan ramadhan kene alim cikit eh. heh. anyways. i'm done with cleaning up my room. just wanna show u some stuff. my stuff. k basically tday's post is all about my wonderful table. the pic u see on top that one. yeah! that's how its supposed to look like ages ago. i just got round to accessorizing it this autumn. hahs! k since this is something u will take 30 mins to look through in real life, in small little details, i will take some time to explain to u guys why this table is all about me; in small little parts. senang nak telan. wakakaks!

K! 1stly, wat u see here is my very own personal zoo. see my mousey mickey? that's my mp3;) then the hippo reminds me of my old popo, my favourite 14th year old bdae gift. and guess wat? popo was from Watsons. booyah! k then the dino. that's from ice age 2 Mcs happy meal. its WILD!! so need to leash it with...MY OLD EARPIECE. if u see the bottom photo, and follow the line, u can see it. heh. A-MAZE-ing huh? hehes. ouh and the stuff next to it? is a pocket calculator, my lappie's extra SD, my hairbrush and a safety pin. whatt?? everyone needs safety pin k:P ouh and the stack of books next to it is garfield and baby blues comics<333>

now lets move on to the actual board. starting from its right side. we'll go clockwise ah. easier. k. this entire part is dedicated to the stuff i love in life. like penguins, babies, shopping, laughters, food, and stuff i do for simple pleasures; like doing art (fav stationeries on top), blowing bubbles (top left corner of pic, can't really see cos its made to be in the background), having besties (ain's pic and bloco's pin;), random outings (see the oscar badge? that was from a random outing YEARS BACK...to plaza sing. then over there got their show and some "egyptian walk") and yes, shopping! (cotton on mini hanger+diesel, patch & zero tags)

kk, this part requires some explanation. you see, i wanted my board to be wow and with me it's hard to get the wow effect with silver words against WHITE BACKGROUND. u just can't get the boom boom pow action going seh. so anyways, i got this arts center/performance brochure from some years back ah, found it damn cool cos the words just describes me u see; "JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH!", like who can beat that? lols. and i actually can't believe i still kept it throughout all these years! destiny i guess;D so yeah, the brochure HAD TO BE on the board but since it'll look plain and all, i found some other stuff to spice it up. hehes. got the sugar spice and everything nice cutout from some healthy marriage mag. the old watch from sec sch days. the police whistle from..uh...hari raya light up event with jems. the necklace was a baby toy from DINGDONG; u noe the one that comes with biscuits in a blue box...hehes. and the top model pic which i must say covers up everything, but it totally pulled off the phrase seh. the perfect pose! btw, i didn't stick any of those stuff up. except the sugarspice one. basically, my board is awesome because it's so flexible. hang anything anywhere. slot everything somewhere. k sounds wrong..XD check out the pics below.

step 1

step 2

final STEP!

k

moving on...

NOW! finally to the final part. the RIGHT SIDE! hehes. so basically, everything's here is just right! wakakaks~ it basically speaks to you about the passions (note the background which says LED BY PASSION) im in like art (spot my colour pencils and cuteyrafey stationery holder man! that place's PACKED! hah), silat (k ah. this part was quite tough to do so i picked up stuff which had to do with self defence - see the punching glove and yinyang "synergy-leader" power piece. memories man~) and last BUT NOT LEAST! SAMBA! hehes. i made it super special ah.

led by...say it with me...PASSION! and it's green! fated seh;)

k basically this is the final part to this whole entire board right? so im gonna tell you the stuffs that are actually there. there my drumsticks, tied with green, yellow and red ribbons, olodum colours. cos i love them so much. and also, if you were to notice, the drumsticks also acts as an accessories holder. my rings and bangles and even handphone strap is hung there. you might notice my drumsticks are held in place by some board which has "FIRE ME UP" on it right? well, fyi, that is an old perfume box from avon. my first perfume, which wasn't all that pleasant smelling ah. then there are also movie tix, the to-do post-it and the random peg (tt's one of my childhood creation k, lots of memories). some stuff there has a story behind it so we move on to the next para k.

k, notice the watch hung from a black hook-thing? that's to show how little time matters in my life. but it is still there, stuck to me all the same like other beings. its also to show its like a black mark on my wonderful colourful life. oh forgot to mention! the colourful background is the actual wall mural plan for my room. and you have all seen how good it turns out to be right:DD

secondly, notice the flower bookmark with a samba wristband attached to it? k the story behind it is separated into 2. 1st, the wristband is to show love. 2ndly, cos i love books and nature, i was put there to show significance. and the love for books is also shown through the pic of the book at the bottom of the board, split into 2 and forming the universal heart-love shape:)

finally, you may notice some BRIGHT YELLOW stuff there too right? like the small yellow highlighter holding up the punching glove and the yellow background of Taz. well...yellow is an attention-getter so it like to shout out to the world the kind of person i am. a hurricane like taz. forever passionate and fun-loving, jumping here and there like baby taz, a kid. i am also a fighter at heart. rarely hiding my head in the ground and i still remember the song bloco friends sang for me when i cried that time during rehearsal; "Siti don't give up":D thanks you guys<33

and you may ask how it looks overall huh?
TADAH!~ (*claps sound effect!)

k now lets see if you missed these stuffs out while checking out my board. hehes.

k i noe wat ur gonna say. watt?? lols! but yeah, whether u noe it or not, one of my biggest sins is gluttony. in food that is. i can't resist man. and HE'S HOLDING A COOKIE!

& when will my prince come to take this part away? k dream on.

disappointment

sometimes
life is like looking at a flower
we see so much of God's beauty concentrated into 1 small pretty little thing

but we tend to forget about other nasty things
and when we do remember those
we forget the flower.

now withered.

the month of peace

suddenly i find ramadhan is here again

so fast
did u feel time pass that fast? faster than the speeding airforce. ZOOMMMM!

so tonight's, the terawih will start.
tonight will mark the middle of the ghost month.
tonight will mark the end of my first exam, law.

so fast
did you feel the many events, week after week
it all ends too fast
memories lingers
i still remember the time when we hang the curtains that is still in my room, unchanged.
heck, i still remember the time when my brothers and me fought to play the bulky gameboy.
i still remember buying the black roll of film to put inside that old camera.
and i most certainly still remember grandmama taking care of me and bro at my home, this house, 18 years ago.
can't believe this house has been the roots of my being for all time. its been 20 years already? wow~


kk im letting memories flood me now. it's not gonna stop so im pouring some for you. imagine my life through my eyes.

remember the time we ran away from home, without telling anyone, just leaving with that stupid small bag. hahahs. i still remember what i put in that bag man. then i remember running and being brought back home. gosh! i didn't even make it as far as grandmama's home. hahahs! kiddy me man.

remember the time when we had the first puff. gosh it was bad. although it was mint-flavoured. ewwww~ and remember the first spar? gosh that was fun. hahhas.... well, not really ah. considering i almost died. no, wasn't fun at all. then we'll remember the legal spar virginity break at silat just a couple of weeks back. k, THAT WAS AWESOME>.< hhahahs. never took so much effort JUST TO BREATHE MAN! woooo~~

remember the times at art space, with samba people, the whole lot, ain and farah and nugget and everyone, happy, no politics. remember the joined forces of samba and salvo? it was refreshing man. the ideas and the funny parts. heh~

remember the morning walks, from CC to Whitesands, pick up the free goodies, and passing thru the wet market every 1st sunday of each month. how long have the tradition lingered man... since last 2 years? man that was unexpectedly long....

remember getting lost at little india? after going for the young minds mendaki idiotic thing at the BMC learning centre, near cathay? stupid lor. i was sec 1 tt time. was so excited to go then i got lost when getting home. that time, dad still had the red suzuki bike. miss bikey alot~~!!!!

remember getting lost taking 23 from the wrong side, the first day of school at TP? i still remember, i was supposed to meet kak norls at tamp inter. end up meeting her 1.25hrs later at pasir ris. hahahahhs!!! joke sia that one. and guess where i drop off when i took 23? little india! the first place i ever got lost. funny sia. sesat je kat sane. hhahahs!

remember going to the different army camps, despite rain or shine? for ndp pracs? but in the end, the efforts there were kinda screwed. those times we ate at jalan kayu after pracs? those were times i'll remember as the LOL moments. love them man. the whole lot.

remember the times when we spend emoing ourselves? during depressing sec sch? failing everything, every subject? to the worst kinda grades; while being in the 1st class taking triple? woah~

remember the stupid crushes and infatuations? to teachers and students alike? hahahhs! i still remember having a crush on mr lai sia! until i found out his WIFE pregnant ALD! hahhaahhs!

remember going out every sunday? i dun even remember do what seh. if i can recall some k..
1) went for the cultural tour, it was free sia. went to little india temple, the Buddha tooth relic temple, the mosque near bugis(not masjid sultan k) and some other places.
2) went for jem's sunday walks.
3) went to mount faber. the loooonnnngggg walk. but the ending was nice ah. got lotsa of flowers!
4) went for my CC's ricewalk. considering i have ald done it, missing the one at TP isn't so bad.
4) went for family days. went swimming to so many places! downtown WWW, the many swimming complexes with slides! fun sia=D
5) went to so many people's wedding! hehes. MAKAN FREEE!!
6) dis weekend i just went for the GEMPAR LAGI high-tea. makan free lagik! hahs. it was kinda fun. k minus the part i hate this one indonesian artist, who is super effing BITCH! & its a he btw. ZZZZ! i think his name is rezky, but the host kept on saying REZEKI! hahahs! i think the other guy, wisnu i think, is so much more handsome ah. based on looks and attitude. but im biased against people with awesome attitude. hahahs.
7) went hanging out wif AWESOME FREAKASS! kk lah, my besties. but among all, i miss ain the most seh. i want POPS! soon please? =)

k lah. enough reminiscing. though it was fun rite? hahahs. kk back to reality. time to study. im gonna do FINANCE<33!! =DD

btw, to all friends and foes alike, gd luck for ur exams and for ur life while im not blogging or online. CAMAT PUASE YE!! >.<

BooM !

allow me to update juz a bit on life kays.

i noe so many people dying to noe.

so yah. bloco NDP as ended but weekends are still packed for me.

btw, the day was awesome kay. i want upload pics, 500+ & still counting but FB has been effed up these few weeks so yah i dunno when i gonna do it anymore. but i'll keep trying ah.

heh!~ guess wat. it's all over. no more eyecandies for me. no more non-stop giggles over bloco-rians stupidity and no more practices after school. there isn't even school anymore. yeap, last day tday. woke up early, went 9 am lect, skipped my last CAS tut cos i forgot and then i dunno my results now~ ass! went final biz finance and was super pissed that my class was crashed and the first thing i said, "cher change class". i was thinking about others first. like wt~ i was the one without seat and i had to think bout others. typical siti. ouh yah! end off the day wif a bang; met alfiah!! woots! and went to kampong glam for raye light up. well, i need to rep my kelompok wat and besides, when im at geylang tmr for the light up i wont be able to become audience. ZZZ=D

i missed the rice walk thing, went for awesome silat training, well, i skipped part of the running cos stomach was wicked, but then, it was still awesome cos for the 1st time ever, I'vE BrOkeN mY SpArRinG vViRgiNity! hell yeah!~

my 50% course grades for all subjects are below B. * wow! shocking rite. all C and below. and next friday is my first exam paper ald. LEGAL! great~ *that was sarcastic btw.

k lah i dowan be so negative. so the positives now. i got A for PHOTOG!!! like`HONOURED NYE!!' just so u noe, my cher asked me send her my design rational and the actual photos cos she say, "its a very good example" WOAHHH!~~ eh kembang eh! k more positive. i've made many2 friends. new ones in school, nur ikhwan ppl and most surprisingly, from my weekend events. ade jeeeee~ none stop seh. i dun even noe when im going to be able to put off ANY of my weekends just to sleep. miss afternoon naps like shit. miss being at home anytime before 10 during weekends. miss being home. alot! sometimes, when i look back, i realise so much time has been spent outside seh. just to name some of the events i've gone to for the whole year would make my head spin. i can't differentiate one weekend from another, cos every week same routine. off early morn, back late at nite. hahs.

but im enjoying life lah. Allah's been nice. really. my life is BALANCE. content. full. complete. thanks to all who makes it so. even those not around me like ain sis. she's always here in my heart. just like alfiah and fanah and huda. miss huda loads seh. and tmr's another kenduri im gonna miss. and another ASAD prac missed. it's the last one btw. wt~

k lah. final thoughts for tday, bloco was great. jem girls were fun for the parts when they were actually there. other non-performing bloco-rians were awesome photo junkies. tell u ah. all my friends SUPER PHOTOGRAPHIC! tts y i prefer taking their photo then my own;) and im not pretty at all so yah~ skin improving since last 3 months but it has a bad scar now. the scar that will only be covered up by my ear-to-ear "nadiah's mega watt smile" and laugh. how ironic.ZZ!

waiting

you know the phrase, "let's just wait and see?"
yeah well, that phrase is getting on my nerves now. so many things can happen. oh so sudden. and then it'll stretch and stretch from it being one small dot to it being an infinite line. k design principles but wth it applies to life k. sometimes, i wish there are more than 24 hours a day. sometimes i wish time will suddenly reproduce and give me lil bit of leeway to life but no... it had to be this way. so wat does siti do? we make the best out of things. combine and do everything in one shot. kill 5 birds with 1 stone, be in 3 places at 1 time and put 10 fishballs on 1 stick. sometimes, i just wished i didn't have to bear so much responsibility, didn't have to know too many things, didn't have to lose so much things cos i was busy enjoying something else and most importantly, i wished i didn't have to love so much it hurts when people betray that trust or overuse the kindness i offer everytime. sometimes, i just wish i can be that fat and cute little girl in a pink halter-top dress, with flowers in her hair and running freely, without any care in the world, without the restrains of life like how you can't fly and how you can't defend yourself. but then humans have invented ways to make those dreams impossible.

and i still believe i can survive this sem without failing anything and improving my weak GPA.

and i still believe in angels.

and i still believe A will be there, to catch that little girl should she fall because of a small stone or because she banged into a large rock. no matter the problem, the little girl will not cry coz she knows she can always stand up again. and try again.

i will strive to be that girl in these few coming weeks. to find that trust lost, to beg for forgiveness for the unspoken words and to regain back the strenght lost. and then maybe in the process, i'll be motivated enough to finish up the piles of tuts im left to do. and also the catching up of 5 examinable subjects and end my ideation projects and CCAs with a big bang.

on an optimistic note, there's the bitter sweetness at the back of my head right now. everything's coming to an end which is awesome for my studies but i'll miss all those saturdays when we laugh our hearts out, run for our life out of the platform and perform with the greatest people i've ever got the opportunity to know;) loves...

niceeeeeeeeeeee

these are the things i look for at youtube. just CUTIE PIE!! ;DDD



Cleopatra!! - go catch her whole series lah!



MY IDOL! ~Yuna!!- Greek Goddess. go listen the lyrics seh. awesome kedegak2!



the kooks! awesome indie music man!



old school! ~ lion sleeps tonight!!



dream of everything ~ hi5



celebrate ~ hi5



my fave!! ~ hi5



can't believe its been 10 bloody years!! ~hi5 grow~



k enuf reminiscing... back to live. -> zooommMM~~

150th post

i've been waiting for this moment to come. the moment when everything just goes silent for that 1 moment. let me just bask in the moment for a bit.

K BREAK'S OVER!
damn.

and the coughing resumes. and the pain in the chest affects the eyes and the brain and now the whole's face screwed up again. and the cramp in the right leg starts screaming its present again. nowadays, im always falling sick. dun even noe why. maybe its my biological clock ticking its way thru my hectic lifestyle. and because of it, ive been taking time off to sleep and rest when im supposed to complete that tonne-assed tutorials and cas project of mine. i've been procrastinating, just in case you haven't notice it yet. hold everything back. everything. including my spices of crushes and eyecandies. i just dont have that liberty called time anymore. like everyday, which starts at 12am btw, i spend it by eating belated medication and eating, cos i dun eat most days now. me+no food=disaster. i've been trying to cut down but i dun tink its working. cos instead of feeling better and healthier, i feel deathly-old-maid sick. like i have wrinkled up face and fingers and all that crap. so unfortunate dun u tink? i have a life outside, which takes everything off of me. i have practices of silat and bloco percussions everyday of the week except thursdays and sundays, where those days would then be taken up by either sleeping my tired ass off or going out with the family for outings and religious lessons. well, now that i've mentioned that, religious lessons have been cut. cos of H1N1 or so i heard. like wt... and i hate it when the country is fearing what they can't see but they're not scared of god. like what are u, sick? go away...far, far away.

i missed those days when i'm free and not tired. so i can have time to finish the projects and ideation art pieces and the finance and cma and pca tuts. i also miss those days when there's nothing hounding me at the back of my brains gnawing at the ends of my brain cells just so it could get some attention.

and just so you know, i've been skipping lessons. and bloco pracs. just so i could spare that little bit of time for my body to recover and also finish up the things held at dateline. i so can't wait for this saturday. cos it'll be the first saturday, i dun have to think about any projects dued coz all projects are coming to an end this friday. well, besides ideation that is. but thats my passion so i dun consider it a project. and when all of this is over, i'll have hell to pay with all the undone tuts i've skipped. confirm results rabak giler punye. confirm mak bapak aku tak kasi join ape2 lagi punye. and i'll feel sad. super empty. cos i'm so used to the life without free time.

everytime someone ask me what i do in my free time, my answer is: sleep/eat/do art projects. which i must say, is essentials. not a free-time activity. i'm so tired now of typing. i'll update again once i feel better.

P.S: i've been sick for 3 weeks now. all who noe me should noe. and the tuts i've held back, its amounting to 4 weeks worth of 5 diff subjects tuts. thats 20 weeks worth of catching up to do. and if that's not bad enough, last sat bloco was spent under heavily pouring rain. u should see the news man. and i was sick+heavy rain+no food=X.X ouh, btw, this thurs is my first silat performance at ilive at tp. that's y i havent been skipping silat. and i think, though this might be like the worst timing to do so, i'm having an infatuation. and 2 other eye-candies from bloco. and all of them, are SO DIFF FROM EACH OTHER!! just so u noe, the infatuation is on a bad boy. and the eye-candies, are like cute and emo. one thing's for sure tho, they all have attitude and awesome personalities, something which always catch my eye first. im not really into the looks you know. just wanna have someone to make me laugh and giggle no matter how indirectly. that's what all of this is for right? a lil bit of spice. and surely, something, WHICH I DUN NEED RIGHT NOW! oh emmm geee.... distractions sia! damn!

anger serves no purpose

i'm trying to make myself believe that little statement on the top.
cos right now i'm so angry at the what could have beens instead of being thankful for what i really have. so just to piss it out on the blog a little since no one will ever want to listen to bitching siti.

1) i'm really angry at this someone. this someone whom i tot is as lazy and slacker as me has just made me into a complete and utter fool in front of all SIFE people, whom i must say, i hold dear to me, partly because they respect me for being NOT STUPID and AWESOME. and he had just crushed that respect by saying "huh?" with that face then saying, "you have no idea what we're talking about". as if im so dumb cos i was sitting right next to them but was apparently out of earshot for this someone. and if thats not enough, this person had to slam me down by winning the student academic awards. so much for being "slack" and "dont give a damn" huh? shit u ah. damn this someone. i hope god will make u suffer and die later. after u've married a horrid bitch and live a life out of your rich ass parent's money and feel like ur the complete jerk u really are. cos honestly i tink, ure nothing behind that "im too good for the world" mask u put on everyday. having fake friends, laughing at a stupid lame joke with that clique of yours right in front of my face and making sarcastic joke on me. fine. go ahead and do it. see if i care. stupid bimbotic effer.

2) im really angry at this group of people whom i tot were my friends. whom i tot would call on me should there be any important events that's gonna happen as group. apparently, i wasnt even invited to the camp, much less the barbeque afters and even much lesser offering me to purchase the team tee u all made which looks awesome btw. just in case u have already forgotten me cos of some new faces which decides to appear and makes me less me, fine. im always not there anyway right...why bother. just so u noe, i breaks my heart, seeing you guys so happy without me. like im not wanted anyway. like im not part of u. sooner or later, im gonna walk towards one of u and u'll be asking, u're part of this group? really? like when, just only? double effer. so much for travelling all the way to bloody red line since the start of the year till the start of ndp prac huh? nyeah~

3) im really angry at myself for sleeping away 1 whole good day. Y? cos i havent slept that good in the past 3 months, since school start. Y? cos it rained and the weather was super awesome to not be wanting to sleep in. Y? cos i tot well, school works gonna get done at night anyways. and now im here blogging when i have so much assignments to get done. damn it man! urgh!!~~

4 minutes to save the world

well, the title is random. cos basically, i have only 4 minutes to blog and 1 minute to pack.
im with nabby rite now at engine. random kan aku! waakakaks!

so anyways, busy2 busy2 week for me. today i have 4 lectures. and we all noe to skip law lect which starts at 9 and have preprinted notes. so down wif one, 3 to go. today is also final submission for the bursary thing which i forgot to hand in yesterday in the mad rush for PCa project which i must say, despite all the shits thrown our way, i think it ended pretty well. hah! confirm C or less. THAT'S RIGHT!!! * in seetmeng's tone. kk. later got bloco. zat asked me play at a wedding.

illl edit this later. GTG!! byes! =DD enjoying life lah please....ZZZZZ>>>

judge me II

so apparently, i slept off while blogging then the bitch had to take away the internet for abit but im back now. so...AMACIAMMMM!!! i feel great today. like Allah finally gave me something fulfilling to the soul.

4) throughout the whole entire time you havent seen me, my face has gone bad to worse;/ word of precaution, if u see something strange on it like extra fats on the sides or cheetah spots out of nowhere, DON'T REMIND ME! k thanks=D

5) i have 3 group projects, submission is by 1st week of school reopen. and i don't think my group will make it. we haven't even started. like we're starting this thursday. when everyone is FREE. as if that's gonna happen. shessh...

6) im working on a couple of projects of my own, for BOE and APEL its done. the ones left are ideation drawings, cleaning up the mess i made and doing a disk defrag on my brain. cos seriously, i think its starting to work damn slow. not enough memory space. not enough brain juice. hahas!

7) im looking for new eyecandies and crushes kay. u want yourself to be included, check out my daily schedule. then can crosspaths wif me! hahas. jkjk. like even i dunno wats gonna happen during the day. too many events occuring all at once and my directions are constantly changing! like one minute to purple line, the next im travelling all the way to pioneer. just in case u dunno where's that, it one of the new train stops. right before joo koon. yeap..that screwed! lols!

8) i've got a lot of catching up to do studies wise. cos basically, i suck at going for morning lectures and esp if you need to print and read notes for it, don't expect me to do it. and then there's the teacher-no hope student pep talk. i just wished i was still oblivious but im not. damn! so now its time to buck up and considering i've lesser than a quarter of my holidays left, i better start digging up my books from the graveyard underneath my bed and start practising accounts again. i realised, while i was at the Tent, im one of the few lucky ones being given the opportunity and while the money's in the shoe, why not grab it right anne? hehes:)

9) speaking about luck, today i feel so bersyukur!! i was SUPER LUCKY i tell u. remember how noob shit i am at directions? well apparently today im like the travel guru.

i was from the Tent opposite SR JC rite? then anne needed to meet the intern from jane goodle for an interview at NUS law faculty!! you noe...the old building? the one that used to be SMU...yah that one. i oni noe how to go to NUS the clementi campus and i was like shocked i could actually make my way there to HELP ANNE! hahahs. talk about irony huh...so yah, we got there by lesser than an hour, not counting the part where we had to walk uphill to the s'pore botanic gardens building to get to jane goodle institute. wanna noe why? cos apparently, i seem to have a magnet about me today, to ATTRACT all the RIGHT buses. and thank god it was all SMRT buses! well except for 1, but that bus was special cos it went through orchard road and we needed to get down at douby which was easy. i tell u, SMRT bus arh, all got the sign of the bus stop name inside the bus! so convenient! then i met 2 cuzzies today! first was kak norls, who apparently was on the same way home as me, then going down at tamp mrt, i saw kak nani! lame seh tak jumpe dier, i was like shocked to see her. can you believe i actually apologized to her cos i tot i bumped into a STRANGER? hahahahs! kekek sak. went shopping and lucky again, GOT COTTON ON SALE! and i FINALLY get to buy my white cotton shirt at $10 ONLY! hahs. in the end, SUPER2 day lah. outings wif kak norls always awesome pe.

10) im addicted to MJ12 now. so my phone hotline is now stretched to 3 am everyday. and more often than not, i find myself lack of sleep during the day. like 4 freaking hours of sleep each day + all the early morning calls for events + not forgetting the never-gonna-be-at-home during the evenings and late afternoons, i tell you, one of these days, if im too tired, i'll go out wearing my pjs just so i can sleep comfortably in the bus seh. shessh!

kk. dats all. the rest u can ask me personally k. dah penat type. hahas=D

judge me

this few weeks have been terrible and aweful for me. as the 3 living souls sharing and coordinating lives together. terrible i tell you...

its so tough being siti, the perfectionist, the one who loves to appear beautiful and wonderfully nice to everyone's eyes.
its so tough being nisa, the one who always look upon things with the eyes of Allah, the eyes that will matter the most, the one that will frown upon your actions even when your very conscience won't mind it all that much; the one who will go to all limits to stand for the jannatullah in akhirat later.
but the toughest one to be is khairun; cos by itself it means "the better one" and hence it is always under pressure to be better than both the others. and how is khairun supposed to live with that kind of injustice? for right now, khairun is struggling with herself, being the biggest hypocrite of all centurions, risking hell and sacrifising so much laughters and time for herself for the benefits of people, who won't even regard the best things in life they are taking for granted. sometimes, siti wished that she would change just a little bit to help khairun face her world, cos right now, everyone is in such dire state of helplessness created by the petty and white lies made by khairun in order to save siti and nisa from humiliation and feeling angry at god. khairun had had enough of hate in her life to survive all the 3 of them for the rest of the few years of life together, so she would rather be the one to take on all the heat just to let siti and nisa have their share of happiness and fulfillment to allow khairun to smile when we all die later.

all the above is for the understanding of those who understand my split personality, just in case you haven't notice it yet. ever wondered, why most times, im super happy, giggly and laughing? its cos siti lives most of the life for the 3 of us here, cos she's the one we all want to become, a reminder of the happy childhood we used to have, eating and playing with ants and jumping and climbing windows and playgrounds like we have nothing to fear, not even gravity. the times when we were to naive to believe in superman and power rangers and maybe, just maybe, we had a secret hidden talent, that we're going to find soon enough, but never did....

i'm sore. body, mind and soul. im so sorry each time i update this cookie its always full of chocolate chip ones, the ones i sprinkled with bitching and lots and lots of frustration cos i tot cookies/chocs/sweets are the only ways to bring those pain down. and it does help. cooking maggi helps too. singing screamo songs and taking long hot baths help too. and doa. we can't forget that. but soon enough, as we grow older, we realise not all the things we asked for are given, especially if we asked god for a miracle. miracles don't just happen babe, it takes 2 hands to clap, or in this case, it requires effirt from you too. maybe after all the hurt and the pain, you'll start wondering whether or not there's such thing as a freewill cos everything is determined from god as all the things that were going to happen to us have already been written rite? WRONG. DEAD WRONG!

for example, you now damn fat. like huge kinda fat. its not god fault that you chose to eat the wrong kinds of food to make you so, yeah you can argue its the body god gave you that sucked, but have you ever asked youself, the huge "wat ifs?". wat if you hadn't gone out every single day of the week to have, every single kind of fastfood, Mcs, KFC, LJS, BurgerKing, BBQ chicken, Simpang food, Satay and Seafood, Swensens, Popeyes and last but not least, Pastamania. like come on, all that junk in one week, without any exercise and huge amounts of afternoon naps, who's to blame if u're being mistaken for another garfield siti? who's to blame when you exercise non-stop for the rest of the year only to notice that you've gained 1kg more? not that im trying to bring you down or anything, godforbit, ive been working hard to get that esteem back from its holiday, but seriously... u NEED to CUT DOWN!!


u can start by erasing the dependency your friends have on you as the doraemon of the group. NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE!! i noe its damn tough, cos without choc and sweets, siti will cease to exist but all of us need to work together as a team to lead a healthier life. maybe, if siti loved us as much as we do her, thats y we're risking hips and booty for her, maybe, she wont go.

k enough of emo shits cos im starting to sound like sec 4 me. right now i'm gonna be kind and update a lil bit of my life to you, just in case you haven't caught up to me yet and you kinda miss crazy old me.

1) im in NDP now. performing samba percussions. i've been transfered to play agogo bells after months of learning tamborim...so i kinda have to relearn everything but its fine. i love bells. with suzy and aisyahand many other crazy gurls and dudes. yeah there's 1 dude;) and he's super funny! he will like scream and cheer with me and laugh with me. hehehs>.<

2) Silat IVP has ended and we got *drumrolls please kaishas!... 3rd OVERALL CHAMPION!! 4 golds babe!! congrats to DJ KEKEK DAN!! & super PRO aisyah! and awesome NAZMI! and last but certainly NOT LEAST, UNDERDOG HELMI!! baik arh korang! woots! eh ah eh ah TP kia! k ah, despite ALOT!! of SURPRISES!! some bad, most good, im so HAPPY FOR U GUYS! really!! =DDD

3) im gonna go for another TP SIFE project tmr at The Tent. It's to teach entrepreneurship skills to the awesome ladies who did the OH-SO-TO-DIE-FOR accessories. this the 2nd one. all together we're gonna present 3 projects, if im not wrong, for the SIFE WORLD CUP!! this 20th! *GASPP!!! and as expected on a saturday, it clashes with BLOCO PRAC!! the 1st on MARINA PLATFORM!! hahhas. alot of exclaimation marks huh... lols. im excited so kill me. ouh! the 1st tp sife project was on selling ice-cream, its called the TP SIFE ICE-CREAM CHALLENGE and apparently, sec sch kids came over and were taught how to sell the ice-cream. i tink they don't need anymore motivation than competition among schools lah. like wth...i got chung cheng high and they were BITCHING bout the other BIMBOTIC girls who were like screaming over the emcee for extra points. and they won. shessh, surprising kape...

value of time

so fine, i read this somewhere and it kinda stuck to me now.

Punctuality is an obligation of a non-existent society....
so who's to blame if i'm still procrastinating right?
who's to blame if i just can't make myself be a little bit more time-conscious
who's to blame when i look at myself and see someone else staring back

i've been hit hard by what miss khit said during ideation lesson last week.
altho i know she was commenting on my works instead of me, it still had that *hit the head hard impact you know? super pain. cos only it hurt so bad. she said, "you are all over the place...you must find back your starting point, think of what you want, and make what you want out of it....right now you're working backwards, having so much ideas and creations, but you dunno which one you want"

it made me silent for a full 5 seconds as i digest in her words into my life these few weeks. i've been "running around" as what my CP, mr chan said, "i don't see that you're putting in any effort into your work...everytime i see you, you're busy with some other activity..."

is it my fault im in all of these problems right now?
i have no friends i can depend on to ask for notes from, cos i skipped lectures and a few tuts i didn't bother doing cos i tot i was smart. well look who's crying and begging for notes now.
i've never been angrier at myself than now. i feel like turning back time, pushed myself out of bed and slap me hard for not doing the stuff that i should have. now im gonna flung accounts again and mr chan's impression of me will continue to degrade until im just another typical stupid and lazy malays who dont do anything to improve their life despite them being in the slumps already. you noe what he thinks of me? he thinks im just fooling around, not bothering to do tut girl, skipping every 9am lecture and emo cum loner kid. cos honestly, in class, im lost. the people whom i tot i could ask for help from, my groupmates, they dont even print the notes. and those who do are always too busy to help "smarty pants siti" out.

i feel like breaking down. i tot i could just live this life of mine, no one would bother me with all these small problems like doing tuts and coming early. apparently im dumb and stupid. apparently reality isnt as sweet as the picture i painted of it. apparently, those whom i tot would slack and not do work with me are actually doing them and i am not even allowed to talk to them straight for fear that i'll be seen with them and everyone will start talking again; like wt....

so fine, right now i'll just struggle with what little stuff i have and pray that Allah will be fair. afterall, Allah's the only one who can help me. and since Allah has put me in this situation, there'll be a way out. one way or another. worst come to worst, i'll just be buried in the ground and be food to earthworms. dun forget pray for me when im dead. i need it for my akhirat. thanks.

the darkness

sometimes i think i think too much
sometimes i wished that what i've done would more than enough
sometimes i hoped that the smiles and laughters i have could light up the night

but then again, who's to care
i'm gonna die a virgin anyway right
i'm gonna rot and hope that there'd be more to life than just this
i'm gonna stay awake and wish that when i blink i'll be sleeping
i'm gonna sleep and wake up realising i've been dead for a long time
i'm gonna make everyone hate me and not cry cause that's what i wanted
i'm dip myself in honey and put myself on the grill
just so you can have me for lunch, dinner and supper.

cos that's what all of you wanted since you saw me walking pass you
cos you hated the fact that your life is lesser than perfect
cos you wanted me to suffer for having laughter like no other
cos all you ever wanted is to rub off hatred and anger

and all i could wish for
is for you to love yourself more
cos there's more to you than that which meets the eye
and if i could have this much faith in you
how could you not have this much faith in Allah
the one who created you
chose you among all the others
to live the life

a life that's far more perfect than a majority of others
a life that's full of happiness which only you fail to see
a life that's brighter than the darkness you've succumbed yourself to..

ajkh aje ah.

tak ada yang abadi

the title of the post just describe this few days for me.

i think i'm pms-ing. pffts!

anyways, i skipped the sl appreciation thingy coz i needed to go somewhere more important that i've neglected for quite abit. today i learned, dosa, once done, cannot be erased for the life of you, no matter whats the purpose behind it. it can only be covered up by having more pahala and with Allah's will, you won't go into the pits of hell, neraka jahanam, where it is said, just a drop of its fire is able to wipe out earth and everything within it. if "Hell Hath No Fury Like That Of A Woman's Wrath's", i can't imagine hari kiamat later, when the world itself can't accept you stepping on it, when all the anger of mothernature and life itself throws itself out upon you.

and then when i reached home, i watched "tak ada yang abadi" on RCTI. its a documentary kinda thing about this guy, who stole his siblings inheritance for himself to gamble away, etc... and in doing so, pushed his mum to her death. he had 4 younger siblings. now, after he has repented and found light, after he lost his left leg from a freak accident, due to karma and dolat from his late mum, he seeks forgiveness from all his siblings. and seriously, when i first watched him going to his 2nd sis home and her reaction towards him which were full of hate and contempt cos he made her life suffer as she was now, i was like, "like who would forgive him? i would most prob do the same." then my wise young bro spoke up, "what have you got to lose by giving forgiveness?"

cut long story short, the story thought me: i should cherish what i have now, for once you do lose the trust and love that you have now, nothing you ever do can undo the past mistakes. all you can try doing is cover up those cuts you have created but no cut would ever be gone without a scar and that is exactly my point.

to whomever it may concern, (kalau terase tu salah diri sendiri)
i didn't do whatever was accused of me. going around ruining my name serve to only hurt you later:

1) cos i will know and i can never trust you again. ive learn a hard lesson today, forgiveness should be given sincerely at every opportunity cos you'll never live your life fully if you keep hanging on to grudges and hate.

2) cos people will hate you once the truth is out and it won't take long

3) cos no one but Allah noes you best and only Allah noe ur intentions of doing so

*P.S: if you're jealous of the life i'm having, try finding a better role model beside yourself, cos believe or not, you're not the GREAT person you think you are. kau ingat kepale kau banyak besar pe? kalau kau bagus sangat, you won't be in the pathetic situation you are now ass.

and for now, i'm letting it go. watch it rise and join E.T;)

let's call quits

sorry if this post is mostly in malay. i can't help myself. cos its all about my new cca. tpsilat.

if u noe me long enough, you would have known i JUST started in silat dis year. new found passion. i dunno why. but you can throw me the worst kind of torture, dera ah, gile2 babs pun aku leh take it. tapi yang paling aku tak leh angs is people who has given me hope and new inspiration to do silat and then leave. period. like abu. like farhan. damn upsetting ah. seriously.

the only thing i have to say is that: tak semue bende boleh patah tumbuh hilang berganti. and my patience and passion can only last for so long. i cannot take anymore goodbyes.

and if you know me, i'm rarely commited to anything for longer than a few WEEKS! mind you. not that i'm the cannot commit type, but i'm the type that don't like hanging around like some EXTRA and continue being in same position unless i myself want to and its mostly due to the people there. whom i love and cherish coz whether you noe it or not, you have made a difference in my life. and its always for the better. made me stronger. i'm starting to sound mushy ah but really, if there's no reason being there, why bother right? like anyone's gonna notice me missing or miss me or anything. i'm a nobody and that's partly why i love being me. no one's gonna remember me being the hyper, stupid and weak person that i am. no one's gonna care about what i think or look like. k...i've depressed myself enough. now i'm gonna go freak myself to mj12 and then think of kambings and laughters and be optimistic again. tmr's gonna suck. back to back lectures all the way. then most prob gonna go buy bbq stuffs. nites ppl. my body and mind and soul needs rest. peace.

cos this is one of the rarest time i've ever seen your white-teeth smile;D

eh! hello=DDDD
i'm uber happy now fyi.
but im missing lots of people. esp ain! :( popeyes please? asap eh sikit.
oh. i should post another entry soon. all pics of the week ah. hahs! k dah. byes!

new break~

lets slow the pace a little, skip a few minutes just to breathe....
take in a deep breathe (*suck in air damn loud)

AND JUMP

INTO A NEW SEMESTER! NEW CLASS! NEW SUBJECTS! ;DD

just so u noe, im supposed to take up 6 core modules+apel2+new cds(ideation)+ 6 other group commitments+sem 2.1= O.O!! hahahs. =D but instead of being uber stressed, i'm like excited. i've prepared my closet and room to accept this new phase of life. woooosh! just thinking bout me being busy makes me wanna hurry up the time. hahas. but 1 thing is for sure, i'm gonna miss my sis over at her fav intern place...hahs. anyways...

i'm supposed to be doing revision for accounting. but i just got home from shopping. and guess wat i bought from funan? my dream come true Audio-Technica Headphones! which cost a WHOOPING $65! EVEN AFTER DISCOUNT! wt... but i'm so happy, i don't mind. like FINALLY KAPE! hahas. i was supposed to windowshop my new lappie but i've decided i didn't need it cos i'm gonna buy my bro's one. hahahs. ask him for half price ah abeh! make things easier. ouh yah, forgot tell u. starting from dis week onwards, mondays are gonna be rest/do tuts day for me. cos weekends are gonna be packed. and i need find a job like real soon. i dowanna be like some pig using up the family's resources like nobody's bizness. talking bout bizness, our school won again. 5th time. cam expected ah. lols! i want PICS! last week my cam didn't have batt and memory. i sooo!! wanna blog using pics cos last week was uber WICKED! hahas.

k dah. i going watch ellen. miss her show like for a month ald? woah!~ k byes!! =DD

we cheer out loud, we shout TP!

i feel so shagged. 3 days tpsilat camp.
and i stayed throughout please. just for that i deserve a =DD! hahas

bloodily enlightening and refreshing experience for me. seriously.
i've been in so many camps, but this is the first of its kind. a training camp.
where they teach u to push to the limits and make u feel like shit but at the end of the day, after all the cursings and ouchies and scratches, its all worth it. thanks to the comm. i noe its tough. trust me. been there done that. and to farhan cine. for making me realise, everything in life comes with price and if i dun work for it, its never gonna happen for me. u're a good guy underneath it all i guess coz u only want whats best for the team and u dun mind being hated and thrown bullshits at by us coz u noe we'll all be better than the day before.

and to myself, ive never as proud of u as i am right at this moment. i dun care what people say or do or think of me as ah seriously... but i really hate heavy, depressing, no laughter situations. hating doesnt mean i get angry at it. it just means im disappointed and sad and really irritated at it. i rarely get angry. u guys should noe better. but i just can't take it when i'm reprimanded for being who i am. so in a way, i kinda noe wat farhan must be feeling should anyone tell him. so yah.... understanding is the 1st step to forgiving rite? actually... missing one bus stop to home was a really awesome bad thing for me. cos despite the heavy bags and me looking like a some sweating pig in green, i managed to think, clear the head, make everything in my world right again=) and tonight, i've grown to learn.

loving the journey, every step of the way. no matter how good or bad, coz anything that doesn't kill me, can only make me stronger.

1-takketak-3!!

hey ho!
k today's entry gonna be super short.
i'm gonna post a learning link here. its bloco stuff. cos i usually forget. hahahs
NDP PRAC - please visit to learn how to flip tamborim siti:) lol!

ouh! thanks ain and the whole tpl and percussion peeps:DD
u guys awesome lah...seriously. i went home giggling at ur antics please.

off to watch man u vs sunderland eh. man u leading now...SCHOLES SCORED!
offensive mid pe~ woots!! hehehs;DD

inspiring

hey! =D
today's a wonderful day....k that was uber sarcastic. today's an learning day.
hahahahs

shoutout here: "HAPPY BDAE MY BIG BITCH!"

i didnt mean it in a bad way. wakakakaks. but tday's damn bad day to celebrate ur bdae seriously... and im sorry for it. but at least u celebrated wif family and friends. mine was belated seh... hahs. WWW downtown sucked cos of rain. we played like a freaking 1 hour only. came at 2+, rained at 3-4. went home@ 5+ cos nak gi makan b4 heading back. cam bodoh ah...did i forget to mention, the queue there so bloody long ah, and it was damn packed. so much so, i took on oni 2 rides! and those who were still at the tix booth wen it rain, confirm balik kampung hisap jari...

so anyways, i still owe the damn bitch bdae gifts! a long list of stuff he wanted, personalized man u jersey, backpack, 8GB SDHC, shoes (loafers and sneakers), study chair, clothes...among SOME on his LIST! wth... eh please eh...i shud be the guy in the house. u shud see how organised he is. and how i can't keep ANYTING clean for more than 12 hours. CREATIVITY does NOT allow RESTRICTIONS to both body and soul. so yah... wakakakaks!

so since we're talking bout creativity, some days back got a blog hopper, nadya i think her name, she has inspired me. to start writing poetry again. i got some pieces i've wrote out, but they're not as perfect as those i did back then when i was emo. now my poetry is more happier sounding...those that make u think of sunshine and picnics and laughing babies:) hehes. when i'm free, i'll make love ones. hahahs. but for now....enjoy what i hve first=DD



of kisses and smiles

the prettiness of life
is not of material, not of money
its not when you have everything in your life
its not even when you achieve your life-long dream

its the sights and sounds of everydayness
that people miss when they go through life too much too fast
that people ignore, cause they do not appreciate the smaller smiles

of the ants when they whisper to sugar
to be lighter as they carry the weight together
of the dandelions swaying in the wind
moving in tune with each other like loving twins

of the infant's giggly laughter
lightening the hearts of those who cared to hear
of the moist and warm breeze
seeking to find a moment's peace

of the soft afternoon sun
reaching out tothose who want
of the love of a child for the red toy train
so true and pure no evil can taint

i'm like busy bee~

HELLOO WORLD!!

k so i'm doomed. unless i talk to ain soon. please eh. problems tak cukup2 kape? nak mampos ah.
maybe i should tell you why i'm complaining first huh? k. tmr's an effed-up day. cos i didn't noe i commited myself to so many things and only found out bout it like...uh....half an hour ago. banged up eh, macam minum air tonik everest yang aku tak pegang2 sejak aku beli. depan mate aku seh sekarang. betul2 depan asus EeePC abang aku sebelah mr. cute2. macam nak amik lepas tu minum je... i dun even noe why i haven't throw it away yet. k like crapping now. rite now kan, aku tengah balancing act eh. i'm doing up some application form from SIFE...cos i'm nominated as a commitee member. stop it KAPE?? so anyways...tmr's, no...today's highlight:

1. WOOSUNK 2nd outing. before our chalet on friday? yuh. damn! meet at bugis, 12pm.
2. A&F subcomm workshop. ni confirm basah punye. cam tak nk pegy pun ade. but we see how. meet at hockey court, itas, 12 pm.
3. TP SIFE compulsory meeting for elected members. 2pm. outside engine. some Development centre.
4. Generus Pasir Ris meeting:) ni kene pergi cos aku in-charge duit to book bbq pit. 7.30 pm. Bawah blok cik sabariah amin.

right now, im thinkin. confirm i have to skip my woosunk outing. and that would most prob lead to me missing the whole chalet. cos aku tak tau details. I WANNA GO LAH! stupid2 me. see what i've landed myself in.... and this is the 2nd time. 1st was last sat where i sacrifised my 1st national day practice with bloco. and think about it ah...

I HAVEN'T EVEN START SCHOOL YET LEH! so much stuff. aku sendiri dah tak tau maner nak prioritise. all i know, i would go with my guard feelings, a pinch of luck, and lots and lots of doa and Allah's fate. i know Allah will only challenge me with what i can handle. if one day, i have
1. SIFE
2. TPSilat
3. ASAD
4. WooSunk outing
5. Bloco NDP prac
6. School
7. time for myself to breathe, eat and pray
all @ the same time, i will just stop and stare. serious seh. but confirm woosunk will drop off 1st. i can't last long wif any empire/grps for long. dun think woosunk will be any different from the rest ah seriously. unless people are willing to make the effort, which usually they don't. wakakakks!

ouh btw, i have this stupid2 feeling, in the future, i'll have to sacrifise so much more than just an outing with a group of camp mates. for example, this coming 14th. which is next week ah to be precise. i have silat camp from 13th to 15th. and its overnite. nightwalk and all. and guess wat...on the 14th is SL teaparty. and i should be missing it. insyallah pe... *dies ah. cos during the teaparty, they'll tell us whats gonna happen for week zero and who'll be partnering me to go with an A&F freshie class. ALL THE DETAILS!! i dowan miss. i hope i can like skip camp jap, go for the teaparty, then join back the camp. macam camp tu BAPAK AKU PUNYE PE~~ anyways, we'll see how things go ah. coz rite now, i dun even noe if the silat camp is like confirmed. everyone is like, tengok blog. O.O lol! so yah...

i'm staying up to watch liverpool against chelsea. hahs. and yestd's man u vs porto match exciting seh. but porto is good, as much as i dowan to admit. cos man u's even better eh pleassse... wakakkakaks!

interesting~

HELLO!! hahahs! as u can see i'm BETTER! ALHAMDULLILAH!!
ouh, i wanted to share some awesome quiz result i did back at facebook. and my friendster account is naturally dead. hahas! so yah...enjoyzz!

1. Siti took the What type of person are you? quiz and the result is 7. Hedonist
Hedonists are energetic, optimistic and dynamic; their appearance is full of optimism and happiness. They are spontaneous and full of fantasy, but sometimes they're impulsive and naive; they avoid pain and have opposite feelings at committing. They have a lot of persuasiveness. RELATIONSHIPS: Family and friendship is very important to you. Relationships are based on pleasure. You can be a loyal, helpful and stimulating lover, if you have experienced your own priorities. It's difficult for you to have only one lover. You also can't believe anyone would want to commit with you. FIXATION: planning VICE: unlimitedness VIRTUE: sobriety PROFESSIONS: a lot of jobs at the same time; a free, unruly profession

2. Siti took the How much of a Minah are you? quiz and the result is 100% Pure Minah
Sapppp, 100% seyyy! We'll see you at Geylang Bazaar during Ramadhan and once in a while you'll post a video of you and friends singing along to a random Malay song blasting out of your handphone/PSP. You have a boyfriend and he rides a 400cc and above motorbike. If he drives, his car radio is tuned in to Ria's Misteri Jam 12.

3. Siti completed the quiz "Which polytechnic should you be in?" with the result Temasek Polytechnic.
Temasek Polytechnic, which is reputed for its design courses, is located in Tampines, a stone's throw away from Bedok reservoir. A simple circular designed campus with the tallest 10 storeys library, and is not really environmentally friendly because the last page of all exam papers would end off with a blank page, "This page is left blank intentionally". If you're ever lazy to walk around in big campuses, TP is definitely your utmost choice!

4. Siti took the What is your Hippy Name? quiz and the result is Revolution Breeze

5. Siti took the Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool or Manchester United? quiz and the result is Manchester United
NI DAH OBVIOUS EH! my name got ROONEY! hahahahhahs! go figure!

6. Siti took the Which major should you choose? quiz and the result is Statistics
Like Mathematics majors, figure reports and bell-curve distribution curves are what you're best at analysing. Your ideal friend should be the graph paper. You are pretty organized and likes to plan things out. You may be good in computers but you know you can never defeat a certain group of people. Continue to work hard and be sure to be faced with loads of career opportunities in the future, but certainly not in a particular country.

7. Siti took the Math Quiz quiz and the result is Really Smart In Math!

8. Siti took the What flavour chocolate are you? quiz and the result is Fudge
soft and creamy and quite tasty to boot

9. Siti took the Who would be your celebrity boyfriend? quiz and the result is Colin Farrell
You're matched with the typical "bad boy". Even though this Irishman has had this image on his shoulders, he's still one of the hottest men around. His beautiful baby browns can swoon any woman.

10. Siti took the The Awesome Superhero Quiz of Awesomeness quiz and the result is You are APACHE CHIEF!!!!!
With the sacred words: "Inyuk-chuk!" you can make yourself really really big. Useful.

11. Siti took the Where will you go when you die? quiz and the result is Heaven
Throughout your life you always tried to stay righteous, and when it comes time for your soul to depart, you will find yourself in Heaven. For eternity, you will spend you time meeting your ancestors and watching over your loved ones. Time will be of no essence in Heaven, and boredom will be nonexistent. Continue on the path you're on if you wish this to be your fate. I hear the clouds feel squishy in between your toes.

12. Siti took the Which Greek God are you? quiz and the result is Athena
Athena is the Greek virgin goddess of reason, intelligent activity, arts and literature. Athena is the daughter of Zeus. She sprang full grown in armour from his forehead, thus has no mother. She is fierce and brave in battle but, only wars to defined the state and home from outside enemies. She is the goddess of the city, handicrafts, and agriculture. She invented the bridle, which permitted man to tame horses, the trumpet, the flute, the pot, the rake, the plow, the yoke, the ship, and the chariot. She is the embodiment of wisdom, reason, and purity. She was Zeus's favorite child and was allowed to use his weapons including his thunderbolt. Her favorite city is Athens. Her tree is the olive. The owl is her bird. She is a virgin goddess.

13.Siti took the How many kids will you have? quiz and the result is 2 Boys and 1 Girl
macam deja-vu seh~ STOP IT SAKK!!
With your daughter being the middle child, she might feel that she isn't as important because she isn't the eldest or the baby of the family, so make sure to pamper her! On the other hand, make sure to keep your food pantry stocked up because your boys will eat everything in sight once they're a bit older.

14. Siti took the What stereotype are yuu ? quiz and the result is Prep
Yuur a prep , liife iis great . briite colors briing out yuur attiitude .

k so im bored. kill me~ wakakakakkas! doing quizzes addictive sey. cannot stop. and the results ah....super FUNNY! like short ROFL stuff like those in the movie COMING SOON. yup. i watched it ald. in the movies. with a crowd of 6. excluding my bitch and me. most of the noises came from us gagging over drinks/stifling laughters/loud gasps! hahahs! but awesome story line! i loike! and ppl in facebook are tyring to maximise my trademark pose. ENJOYZZ JE LAH! =P

i feel so damn frus at my non-talking, forever sour, and non-budging mom. ape2 je lah. bukan ica tak try eh. i did wat u told me to. too bad im slow at taking hints and oni do stuff when u scream in my ear. im like dat. but i still do it don't i? just for the effort, u should thank me. not even asking for a reward lah eh, just a simple, "dah makan ca?" will do. but no. u dont even care when im sick. whatever ah. hope u see happiness when u shut urself out like dat. pfft!~