Im not the same person I used to be
Im moving on
Its just me
Do you remember?
When you told me that
Id never be good enough for anyone
That I wasnt worth your time
Your energy
And why did I listen then
Why didnt I stand up for myself
But you made me believe
That I was on the road to nowhere
To nowhere
And Ohh
I was listening for way to long
I should of known Im way to strong
To let you just lead me on
Lead me on
And Ohh
I was traveling on that road to long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
I been thinking about all that weve been through
Every place that you and me went to
Thinking back home
Stupid little memories
Thinking bout the times that my heart felt empty
Wait
That was all the time
Cuz we just weren't fine
We fake it
A true friend stabs you in the front so tell me why my back is aching
You cant say
You just joke
Aint anything
Then theres your rope
Dang whats in front better work for you
Hooked up and you got me at your game
Burn every rib but you still see the smoke
Try to get across but you sank every boat
You can smoke every day of your life
But when I'm on the mic imma be more dope
And ohh
I was listening for way to long
I should of known Im way to strong
To let you just lead me on
Lead me on
So you could love me for who I am
Or hate me for who you think I am
But the old me's dead and gone
Im moving on now
Ohh
Ohhh
Umm
Old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
Ohh
Saturday, May 22, 2010
you know what hurts the most? when u've allowed it to come too close. now it feels like a durian. u love it, but its killing u. im tired of hearing hold on ct. dont worry ct. dont stress ct. i know, thinking bout it wont solve a freaking thing. everything needs actions. & then im caught up with myself...what other thing am i lacking? what it is that is missing? i've asked myself this, countless times. i noe where i need to go. & im loving the journey throughout. but why do i still feel all these insecurities? why do i take initiative? why do i even bother when the rest wont even care? cos i cant help it. pasal ct cant help loving them so much. korang tau tak brape syg ct kat korang? when i see everyone graduating, i kept thinking, when i grad, THIS would be the biggest reason why i'd hate to leave. throughout my entire journey, up till now, i've learned so much. and there's still alot more to go. i noe im nowhere near as good as the others, i noe who i am. sape lah ct kan? ppl wont even remember my contributions when im gone. i could just bet on it. but i just cant leave. esp not when the phrase," Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go" keep repeating itself in my brain. & i had a weird thought yesterday... i could actually win IVP...esp when so many wouldn't join IVP what with persisi organizing it and all that politics. its true. ive said it before. i joined silat and continued being in it cos its one of the few ccas tt wont press politics on u, but suddenly when it really hits me. im stunned. i guess tts what those tears were for. cos i wanted so badly for us to be the awesome united committee, i didnt realise my errs tt lead to what we are nw. i sorry. i regret it. ill make up for it i swear. tmr. cos im just too tired tday. tired of being bashed up. tired of being pulled about cos we had to suck some persons balls to get the stuff we couldnt get. here's the part where i say, having loads of money would really help in life a bit, but i guess even tt we have to earn huh? but he's not in the wrong. it shouldnt be in this lose-lose situation we're in now. but i guess stratification is too much to ask for rite?
i still cant believe all i ever wanted for people to be happy. cos nw i realize people, have really selfish intentions, really sick minds. really bad realities i shouldnt have known. i wasnt supposed to know, but now tt i do, i still cant understand where this hope comes from.
i read something inspiring just now:
faith makes everything possible, hope makes everything brighter, love makes everything easier.
[the inspirational quote frm ms christine's desk]
&& this song just explained my day tday:
dead & gone - travis NLT
